So let me begin by saying marriage is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Aqzlong side raising tiny humans and I feel sometimes it can be very hard as a stay at home mom and not having much real life interaction with fellow humans, which for me can be a good and bad thing. Good in the sense that I don’t come across many like-minded people, let alone mothers and bad in the sense that we all need communication and connection with other humans. That being said, my husband being the only source of interaction a majority of my days can be tasking on the both of us. One, hes a man. So hes not going to understand things through a womens perspective. Two, because I can talk ALOT. So I know its hard for him to keep up or even know what to say at times. There are a few reasons we began to drift and not pay much attention to US, as a couple. Starting with having children, we actually got married a month after we had our son Landon. So we know that took an effect on our marriage that we never really had time to us, as a married couple. Then when our son was 9 months we conceived our daughter. I think it goes without saying a toddler, a rough but normal pregnancy with a cranky wife didn’t contribute to helping us bond or stay connected. Then add in your daily life stressors like money, life decisions, both just learning to be parents and focusing on filling that role, our sons adverse reaction to a vaccine which led to the past year of recovering and extremely emotional and tasking times. So needless to say our last two 1/2 years of marriage hasn’t had much US time. So recently we decided it was very important for us to reconnect in anyway we could and these are some things both my husband and I have come up with and make a daily effort to do. So in this post, it’ll also include some of the thoughts my husband has on how to reconnect and things he’s been making more of an effort to do, as I have been as well, Marriage is a two way street. These are some ways babysitter free, to reconnect. I will add, I am in no way, shape or form a marriage counselor and have no intention of becoming one, this is just something we thought we would share from our personal lives.
so here goes…
- DO CHORES TOGETHER. If you have a husband like mine, he’s already doing everything he can do help clean up and do what he can to contribute to keeping our house and home functioning properly. There is many mornings I wake up and our cloth diapers are already washed and my dishwasher is loaded and ready or already done. these are things that my husband does to help me not take on so much of a load of being home 80% of the time with the kids. whilst I extremely appreciate him for all he does and I’m grateful I have such a helpful husband, we find it a lot of fun to test our teamwork skills and do chores together. We normally wash our big dishes like our juicer, pots and pans by hand so its great while I wash and he dries, we get things done so much faster when we work together. so work together and adore your teamwork skills cause marriage Is TEAM WORK.
- COOK & EAT DINNER TOGETHER. Simple enough right? hopefully you have a big enough kitchen because our first apartment could barely fit one of us and we had to move to even open the kitchen door. really not fun for people who love to cook. So this is actually fairly easy and it implements more teamwork plus at the end you can sit down for a little date and hopefully enjoy a meal together, if you feed the kids at the same time, you should be golden. When your sitting down is a good time to talk about your day, goals and dreams you have together. we even talk about songs we like. Anything, just talk and eat up the delicious meal you made together.
- MUSIC. So that brings me to my next suggestion, music. sometimes I think we all tend to forget the power of music. A lot of songs take me back to pre-baby times and I can literally remember so much about that day that a song can bring me back to. While my husband and I talked about this post, he had actually suggested listening to music together while doing chores so you could totally kill two birds with one stone. Last night was kind of cute, our wedding song ( a thousand years but Christina Perry) came on, on the lullaby station we had playing for the kids and my husband shouted from the other room “You hear what song is playing” I said “of course” I mean I was sitting almost right next to our Ipod dock and He said “I love you.” I told him he was silly. It sure was cute tho, for him to make that tiny bit of effort and acknowledge something that came from a really special day for us.
- WEAR YOUR HUSBANDS SWEATSHIRTS. seriously, I was totally a wear your boyfriends clothes kind of girl. I used to LOVE wearing my husbands sweatshirt. Well the first day I did this, it smelled JUST like him even tho he hadn’t worn it in a while. So his smell made me miss him and just like that, I felt connected to him again.
- LITTLE THINGS. The little things are what make the big things when we look back. So when I think of the little things for me to do for my husband, its helping him cut his vegetables to make his meals for work or even better cooking his meals. This helps us both as it gives him less time cooking his meals and more time with me or the kids. My husbands two main suggestion is this.. make random compliments to your wife. Tell her how much you appreciate her or how she’s a wonderful wife. These small compliments can make a big difference. My husbands other suggestion is to show affection as much as possible, a hug, a quick kiss, a long kiss. This is something I know we both can work on, by the time he gets home and we all get settled in and get the kids to bed, we totally tend to neglect the time to hug and kiss one another and just say I love you.
so for today I leave you with this, it really just takes a little bit of extra effort on Both ends and your list may look different then ours but I felt that we should share something that’s been very important to us and should be to you all too. Happy marriages! 😊
Light & Love,